My Story………Journey to wellness - Healing starts within
Well it sure did take me a long long time to figure out who and what I was meant to be in this lifetime. It really, really all began Jan 2018. But to be honest, we all have to endure many things as we learn and grow, there were alot of things that took place well before this, but that sweet souls, is a story for another time…….
This biggest hurdle in my life, that steered my course a whole other direction, in fact, veered me right onto another course, all really began when we lost our mother (my mother in law) to a brutally devastating long drawn out battle with cancer.
We were stuck. Lost in a pit of despair and sadness, unable to get our lives back on track. That first Xmas without her was so very hard to handle. We were stuck in a rut we couldn’t get out of (my hubby and I). I had a very good friend reach out to me about a healthy work out challenge she was getting into. So I decided to do the challenge with her and another friend....yup, that got me up and moving at least.... I was using a fabulous supplement line (Isagenix - check out my website if interested - becksvs.isagenix.com) that my hubby and I had been on for over a year at that point, and was feeling fabulous (and still do each and everyday). From that point, my hubby started watching me get healthier, and healthier, physically more than anything, and more motivated day by day. He really wanted the same for himself, so he started working out regularly as well, on his own time, and in his own way, but we were finally able to start feeling alive again.
I won the first work out challenge. Blew my own mind. Won a free one month of personal one on one training with the same personal trainer that I had done the first challenge with. The one on one was amazing. Then I couldn’t resist doing the next challenge, then the next....ok so now I was obsessed with this Personal Trainer (Jessica Lawrence - Revive Fitness) and was feeling healthier then ever, and really felt like I was in the best shape of my life….PHYSICALLY.....only kicker was....I just didn’t know when to slow down. Always GO GO GO in my life....also taking on alot of other peoples drama, issues & struggles. I LOVE to help people in need, and they have always really been drawn to me for that, I am the go to girl when someone needs something, because I never say no. I have always been, and still feel I am really, one of those people that hides everything about ME emotionally. I always have my guard up, trust no one!. I have to be the strong one, the leader, the mom (in a sense), the counsellor, the helper, the guide, the “whatever someone needed me to be” for them....BUT I never ever stopped for one second to take a look at myself and what I needed. Ya sure, working out and eating healthy is great for your body....but what about your mind and soul, where was I at mentally and emotionally? Do you ever stop in your day to day and ask yourself that?? Guess I never ever thought about that.....UNTIL….
Firstly.......my fulltime job was very very stressful & busy. A few years before I had experienced Anxiety (that is another story in itself, but that is in the past now), but never really did anything about it. So meanwhile, 2018 rolls around, I am working out, feeling super healthy, and right when I thought things were better than ever, WHAMMO....I started having Anxiety attacks at work. They eventually (because YES I was ignoring them) turned into full blown panic attacks.....I thought I was going crazy. I felt very alone, scared, and basically like I was having a heart attack each time, shortness of breath, dizziness and then the Migraines began. Of course, I had no idea what all of this meant at the time.....and I am not very good at listening to my body, well at least I wasn’t at that point. If you googled the symptoms I was having, it sounded very much like a stroke. So I was rushed to Emergency in March sometime, the ER sent me straight in for several tests including a CT scan. The hospital thought I may have been having a stroke too. After my tests came back, I was told it was a Migraine, the type that mimics the symptoms of a stroke....very scary indeed. I was told that I had very high blood pressure, they started referring to me as having Heart Disease & told me I was at a high risk for a stroke. I am like WHAT? I am only 38...how is this possible? I was sent to a Neurologist. He told me to get a blood pressure monitor and to test myself daily and to find ways to lower my stress levels, I needed to gain control over my anxiety and panic attacks before they caused my blood pressure to get to a dangerous level. I was now at a high risk for a stroke. Then I had to wear a blood pressure monitor for 24 hours, once it was determined that my Blood Pressure was way to high, at dangerous levels throughout an entire day, the doctor pulled me from work May 1st. That was hard, I have a really hard time sitting still, I never in my life was good at relaxing, I could just never get my body or mind to RELAX (what did that word even mean?) I also have a hard time feeling like I am not contributing to society when I sit still for even a moment. I felt, again, like I was going crazy, and so alone. And of course, anyone that doesn’t understand Anxiety, and also that it was contributing to my extremely high blood pressure, were very judgemental, ignorant, and not understanding at all. I would get alot of rude comments. Or they would say, “Just don’t be anxious” ..... Alot of occasions, alot of thoughtless things were said, and I let things start eating at me .....I felt so lost. Depressed, and alone again.
My doctor sent me to counselling. It was free at Interior Health, so were the courses that they recommended for me. I was sent to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy & Behavioural Relaxation Therapy courses. At first it was hard, BUT, I no longer felt alone. These courses definitely did help alot ....but I needed more.
The day of my (last huge) Migraine, I had reached out to a girlfriend that I had not honestly really known for very long, or very well (at least not in this lifetime). I had heard her mention a few times that she did Reiki. I had no real clue what it was (This was May 2018) but was willing to try anything to save myself, I was worried that I would die of a stroke at an early age, and it would be my own fault for not listening to my body when it was screaming at me to do something. So I went to see my (now) very good friend & sister from a past life, Ayssia, for a Reiki Healing Session. WOW....I was blown away at the energy I felt. I felt like it was meant to happen to me, right then and there.....she really helped me begin my true healing process, I had never felt something so beautiful, gentle, peaceful. I had also gotten so used to Migraines coming and going, that I had forgotten the peace that came without a migraine as the Reiki session helped to alleviate it. After the session, she mentioned to me that (because of my tension in my body) she could help me in other ways with the massage she offers. I had no idea she even did massage.
I went and saw Ayssia for a massage treatment shortly thereafter. I was blown away. It was unlike any massage I had ever had. I spent years and years, lots of money on RMT, Physio and Chiro treatments for all my tension I held in my body since I was 16 years old. Coverage or not, I always had to get treatment because my back was always so bad.
In one treatment with Ayssia’s style of Deep Tissue Natural Therapy Massage, she ended up spending 3 hours on my upper body, it was a long treatment, but I had NEVER in all those years had a treatment make me feel so amazing. I had also never been able to release the tension and tightness from my upper back ever before no matter what I tried, and YES, I tried everything from RMT, Chiro, Shockwave, Acupuncture, Yoga and physio…… I did this numerous times a week until my coverage would run out and I was paying out of pocket for little or no results. Having a bad back, along with other physical issues from previous injuries and (now that I know) emotional life traumas, being in this kind of pain had just become the norm for me. I was mind blown at the outcome after that session and craved more! I went back at the end of that same week for another 3 hour lower body session. No, it was not covered by my extended health care, but I didn’t care at that point. I wouldn’t have to go back to my RMT or Chiro for another 5 months after that.......In fact, fast forward to my ‘add on’ here, now, March 2024, I still have not been back to my family doctor, have seen my Chiro once (I mostly missed him, he’s awesome) & have only been treating myself to RMT treatments to treat myself and use up my extended medical, though it’s honestly not NEEDED, I do like to pamper myself a bit, and my current RMT is also a Reiki Master & channels energy as she treats me, she is amazing.
I am so thankful I gave something really unique and new a chance when I did, it forever changed my life!
After only a second visit to see Ayssia, I just knew that I had to take the Raynor Natural Therapy Deep Tissue Massage course myself, so I could not only work on my own self, (only the areas I can reach, but that was ok) so I could work on my hubby at home too. I figured I would take some other relaxing self care, self love courses of any sort and any kind while I could during my time off work. My doctor and Neurologist wanted me to wind way down in my life, take a new approach and ZEN OUT, they said.....so....I did. I took my Reiki Level 1 course, and signed up for the Raynor course that would take place in September 2018. I was so excited.
Meanwhile. I started spending alot more time with Ayssia, she was helping me to feel more calm, cool and relaxed. I went to the Gem & Mineral Show, got really into Crystals, Gems & such at that point, and am now officially obsessed. I also had a good friend (Rochelle) from way way back when reach out to me and insist that I try incorporating Essential Oils into my life on a day to day basis, so I started ordering diffusers and oils etc...from Young Living, and am quite honestly also now obsessed with that as well. My whole life turned right upside down, in a good way, and I was now on a path to wellness, self healing, self love, & holistic driven happiness.
I tried to go back to work of course, too soon, against doctors wishes, against my extended health care companies wishes too. I thought I was ready I guess since I had such great things going on in my life now. I went back to work in June to the Construction industry selling Roofing & Siding. I felt ok for a bit, was still leaving work on the days I had my courses for the 1.5 to 2 hours that my courses ran. But something didn’t feel right.
I went traveling to Europe with my hubby for 3 weeks in June, it was an amazing trip. When I returned to work, things slowly got worse and worse again. Everything started downward spiralling really quickly, my anxiety and panic attacks started coming back, and my blood pressure started reaching crazy scary levels again....yup...I know, I did it to myself. Not only rushed back to work, but stopped the self care practices because I was feeling so good and everything just came back at me full force. …..So now what?
I was rushed to hospital again at the very end of July with chest pains, blurred vision, dizziness etc...FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK......straight from work this time. My co-workers & employers really didn’t help to be honest, they only cared about who was going to close up the shop at the end of the day....ugh....and again, feeling lost, scared and alone.....was pulled by my doctor and neurologist from work for a second time. My Doctor & Neurologist said that I was literally going to cause myself a stroke if I kept going at this pace, and they highly advised me NOT to return to work until the possibility of September.
In the meantime, I finally really took the reigns. I continued taking any sort of relaxing courses in all sorts of holistic modalities, to not only better myself deep inside, but to really change the direction I was going. Being physically fit is one thing, being Mentally connected to your mind & soul was a whole nother thing in itself.
I took my Reiki level 2 course and began practicing on myself, my pets, my friends and family daily, and as long as my mind was focused on my own personal mental health and happiness, I felt more and more amazing with each day. My blood pressure started getting lower and lower, and regular daily activities were becoming easier again. Anytime my employers would reach out about anything, or my extended health care provider, I would immediately feel a wave of panic arise, my blood pressure would spike, and I would end up feeling like I was back pedaling. It actually got to a point where I had to block everyone at work from contacting me, friends outside of work or not, no one seemed to understand just how serious mental illness & heart disease could really be, except me, or at least that was the way I was feeling.......Alot of judgement, alot of people telling me what they thought I needed to hear, when all I really needed all along was to STOP and listen to MYSELF....my inner self, my higher self, my gut, intuition, my ME!!!! I decided NOT to let these external things effect me in such a way any longer.
I completed my Reiki Master Certificate about a year later and couldn’t be happier about my path in life! I had even begun teaming up with Ayssia to host and teach our own Reiki courses with a bit of a Shamanic twist. I mainly teach Usui Reiki solo nowadays, but we will always support one another.
I was invited to the Womens Holistic Business Conference at the beginning of September 2018 on a weekend in between my 2 week Raynor course. It was incredible, amazing, a moment in my life I will never ever forget. I met so many amazing holistically driven women, and it really opened my eyes up even more to other opportunities and future possibilities for me......on the inside, I was transforming so much.....but there was still something eating at me every single day.....thinking, knowing and absolutely dreading the fact I had to go back to work somewhere that was making me feel so ill, so lost, so scared and mentally unhealthy.
Eventually, I had had enough. I knew deep inside, though YES, I had alot of external support and am forever grateful & thankful to all who helped guide me, I had to do what was right for ME! The only person that could really do that for myself is, was and really always has been ME! I couldn’t continue with the way I had been living my life. I finally started listening to my inner self, my gut, my instinct that I had done such a good job of ignoring all my life. I gave my notice at my place of work, I still love so many of my old customers and co-workers, and had been told that I am still part of that family, not to be a stranger, and I am not, I visit alot. I still remain close to alot of the people from there, but just in a whole new sense. The day I gave my notice, a wave of pure relief was lifted from my back, I actually couldn't believe how I felt better immediately...... WOW! I felt empowered, and like I REALLY REALLY knew what my new path would be..... to be a true HEALER. Not just for myself, my own health & happiness. But I also now knew that once I was the best version of me I could be, I could in turn help others to see the light at the end of a sometimes very dark tunnel.
I feel like that really leads me to TODAY, to right NOW in this very moment. I am really a completely different and better version of myself than I was in May of 2018. I have grown so much, transformed, was reborn like a Phoenix rising up from the ashes. I am a NEW and BETTER version of ME! Now, & going forward, I know to trust, love and confide in myself first, because without myself, who would I really be? So many people now from my past know a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore.....and I am quite happy with that! The new me that I am today many of you may not know.....I once was broken, but am feeling as though my soul has been healed....I just had to put my pieces back differently!
I am now running my own business offering Holistic & Alternative medicine healing right here in Kelowna (Becks Zen Den). I dub myself as a Healer of many sorts……Healthy Mind & Body Lifestyle Coach, Spiritual Mindset Coach, Reiki Healer, Raynor Practitioner & a true lover of so many things in this earth walk........especially with the beauty and connective-ness of the universe itself.....
Self love, Self care and Spirituality are extremely important to me now, more than ever before. And of course, my hubby & fur babies.
My mission since my rebirth (attunement to Reiki) in 2018 is to raise my frequency & vibrations......so I can in turn help others to find their true self, their inner peace.....their spirit again. At the same time, helping to raise the vibration of this planet.
So much growth took place in a short while as you took the time to read (thank you).......a huge transformation, & I continue growing each & everyday. Quite literally, Meditation, Reiki, Raynor, crystals, gems, essential oils & ESPECIALLY Self Love & inner connectedness changed my life in a very short time frame. I am forever grateful that my body called out for help when it did. I saved my own life, my own soul, and will never ever look back. It’s never too late to become what you might have been. Let the healing begin……Start now :)
Always with Love & Light, Beck Wilson, Holistic Healer!
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